What kinds of checks do you fancy?

Published May 24, 2012 by Sandee


Why would I want to order checks with flowers, balloons or pink pussy cats on them? These checks are going to people who harass me for money every month!  Some of them hike up their interest rates when they feel like it, and as we speak they’re trying to figure out new ways to screw me.

“Well, would you like your name and address printed on your checks Ma’am?”

“Shit naaww!  Why do I want to make it easy for these motherfuckers to find me?  Let ‘em look me up in the goddamned filing cabinet – make ‘em work!  Listen, print me up these checks, black with skulls and crossbones on them, and in the area where my name and address is supposed to go, put Die Motherfucker Diiiieee-yah!

41 comments on “What kinds of checks do you fancy?

    • It’s true — sending people checks — why waste money on extras like pretty pictures! I actually do pay most bills online, but there are a couple of places where I can’t do that, so after a year or more of going to the bank to get checks just for these two ‘payees’, I decided to go on ahead and get a box of checks. I didn’t order skulls and cross bones or die motherfucker die, but I did order black checks — I can’t wait to see what they look like!

  • sooo funneee! your humor is spot-on…would love if we could ‘customize’ them…will wait to read about the black ones (and reactions) when you get them!

  • Haha… Funny post.

    I had to read it twice to get it. No, I’m not usually that slow 🙂 , it’s just that we call them ‘cheques’ here, so I was trying to figure out what checks are. Lol. Maybe my brain is a little tired too. I shoulda known it’s the Brit/American thing…

    You guys get to order custom-made cheques? Cool! I’m sure they don’t get that many people ordering them black. I’d love to see that! What ink shade are you planning to use with that? Gold, glitter…?

    • Thanks for taking the time to read this ELB! Thanks for stopping by! We’ll see what I actually get — we had a bad connection — the customer service person and me so it’ll be interesting to see if I actually get black checks. Yes, we do get to custom order them. I think the black checks probably have a paled out area to write in… In the future, I’ll be looking into skulls and crossbones, however — lol!

  • That is spit out my soy milk funny. I didn’t know you could get black checks. Mine have pictures of sad animals from the Humane Society. I want the people I send chcks to feel guily that I have to send my money to them and not to the sad animals.

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