May somethingorother, 2012
Her: Hey, what you having for lunch?
Me: Well –
Her [cuts me off, does African jerk dance and sings in my face]: — Dick on a stick make you wanna go foo foo! [Turns heel abruptly — marches off.]
Me: [Yelling out.] You are crazy!
May 19, 2012
Her: Hey I got these ah, chocolate chip cookies heah. You wanna have one? This lady comes heah all the time — she gave ‘em to me.
(Opens see-through plastic container lid and shows me. They looked normal.)
Me: I ah — no I’d better not.
Here: Ya needa gain a little weight there – ya gettin’ a little skinny there.
Later the same day…
Her: Got some pork on a fork back there ya want some?
Me: Ah no, thanks…
Her: [Walks off singing in perfect mimicry, Nina Simone’s “What a Difference a Day Makes.”]