My Lame Ass Movie Review

Published March 31, 2012 by Sandee

 

Wanna know in what movie white folks say ‘nigger’ five-hundred and ninety-nine thousand times?  In Tennessee Williams’ ‘Baby Doll’.  The black people sit around playing blues on harmonica, propped on trees, shaking their idle heads at crazy ‘ol white folks.  Carl Malden’s character is the big fool in the movie.  Eli Wallach is in it too, a Jew playing an Italian, or a ‘wop’, as is also loosely expressed in the movie.  Carol Baker (one of those sexy flat-chested woman I refer to in my other blog) is Baby Doll.  All three — great actors.

And I fucking loved this movie!   It’s well-acted and has a great script.  It’s risqué, original and more importantly genuine.  There’s an underlying context with all of these black folks in the periphery.  They’re a running commentary on the idiocy that occurs in the film.  And their presence is 100% authentic.  I don’t give a flyin’ fuck about the prolific use of the word nigger – in that region in that era, this is the way that the people spoke.  In the movie there are some blacks in action, working, but mostly they just sit around looking simple.  But there are white folks sitting around looking just as simple.  Oh my, and what about that character, Aunt Rose Comfort?  If she isn’t simple, I don’t know what simple is.  Boy, she was a trip!  And Carl Malden’s buffoonish character (buffoon, my favorite word) could certainly be labeled a smear on southern-hood for those quick to say something’s a stereotype.

In the context of the movie it all works.  But this kind of language, ill-placed in a badly constructed film would be offensive.  Which brings me to the pretentious director, Madonna’s ex, whasisname, uh, Ritchie, Richard, oh yes, Guy Ritchie… Yes, Guy Ritchie and Madonna please beat me over the head with the “ironic” idea that you’re so hip and naughty by going to a Halloween party in a priest and nun costume – come on.  I’m afraid so many people are blinded by what they think they should like, and by media trends, that they thought it was hip.

Guy Ritchie’s movie, ‘Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels’ did everything it could to cover up the fact that he really wanted to say that black people are stupid, disorganized and not even smart enough to pull off a crime.  I saw it so long ago that I don’t remember the whole thing, besides, it was a piece of shit.  My boyfriend and I looked at each other at one point and shook our heads.  I said, “We should leave,” he agreed, and we left in the middle of it.  Now, THIS is a movie black folks should be offended by.  Guy Ritchie, this kind of a person is the scariest kind.  After this movie, and knowing that Guy Ritchie operates from a place of entitlement with regard to this “hip” illusion, I will never see another one of his movies again.  He’s one contriving motherfucker.  I don’t go to a movie, concert, museum or read a book to be told by the artist what to think and what the work is about.  If you need that to happen, go to my boy Guy Ritchie, because he’s thoroughly inauthentic, because he sucks like that!

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