Hope

Published August 18, 2012 by Sandee

When Purplemary54 tagged me to do a post on hope as part of the blog relay for hope, I thought, ‘There’s no hope.’  Someone called me a nihilist.  I looked it up.  I’m dark but I’m not a nihilist.  Why does a nine year old write a story called “Sometimes I want to die?”  The story wasn’t about my wanting to die, it was about the existence of good and evil forces and flirting with the idea of examining death, so there.

The universe is so vast that no one really understands it.  Scientists and philosophers say it.  I like to imagine that this fact combined with the fact that you don’t use a third of your brain means that there’s untapped magical power somewhere in your tiny little head.

Hope hides in the corners of that place in my brain that directs my feet while my stupid mouth blathers on about how everything needs to be annihilated.  I’ve realized how much I’ve accomplished toward a goal when I stop running my mouth.  I’ve been moving toward it the whole time.  But my mouth complains that there isn’t any payoff for all that work. The payoff is being involved in the process, observing and absorbing my environment with everything about me open; this way I can be satisfied by separating from the idea that I’m supposed to get some packaged notion after completing my goals.

While I’m writing this I’m trying to figure out how to sustain this idea. I have a job, but need to find another one because in December the gallery closes for three months and I don’t know if I’ll be called back.  I had better find some goddamned hope from somewhere so that I’m not motivated by fear and desperation, which everyone can smell on you.

I want to demonstrate my hope on a larger scale.  Hope for the world, for the country for the people – that’s where I falter.  I was told that it starts with me. Me, I like sharing ideas in writing. I’d like to plant the seeds of the idea that money is bullshit, and that we’re buying up all this stuff and contributing to our own demise and we have no idea really.  That’s why I don’t get excited by any candidates under this economic model, at all!  I hope that if the right people get that idea, some new economic model can be constructed with elements of a new ideology coming from many different places in the world.

But I really have to battle my so-called nihilistic views when it comes to supporting this idea because at the rate we’re going with our greedy little selves, sometimes I think maybe the earth is just toilet paper, here for us to use up to wipe our asses until it’s all gone.

This assignment asks me to ask someone else to write on Hope.  I’ll ask Miss Four Eyes because she said facetiously that she sounded like the hipster version of Pollyana when talking about her sweet little dog, and in general, Miss Four Eyes is wry and hilarious.  Feel free to decline but if you should take the assignment, here are the instructions:

Step 1: Write a blog post about hope & publish it on your blog.
Step 2: Invite one (or more!) bloggers to do the same.
Step 3: Link to the person who recruited you (me, in this case) at the top of the post, and the people you’re recruiting at the bottom of the post.

42 comments on “Hope

  • “But what is Hope? Nothing but the paint on the face of Existence; the least touch of truth rubs it off, and then we see what a hollow-cheeked harlot we have got hold of.”
    George Gordon Noel Byron

    Sorry. Bad night. Bad week. Bad…

  • I’m like you, if hope starts with us, then we are screwed because the world doesn’t have real values anymore. It is all about what you have, no matter if you can afford it or not. Look at our national debt. You did a great job Sandee, talking about what real hope is. ;-)

  • But you keep going in spite of the sad state of things. That’s what hope is. Thanks for the awesome insight. It’s hope through a glass darkly, on a stormy night, with the power out. I like it.

  • “The world is just toilet paper”. We certainly do treat it that way, don’t we…
    I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the same type of disillusionment. Everybody is busy pointing the finger at this candidate or this President, but the reality is that we should all be pointing the finger out our own selfish souls.
    It reminds me that – to your point – there is no hope in this temporal world. Not sure where you fall on eternity, but if this is all there is, we might as well all get as drunk as possible and never sober up. Me, I don’t think this is all there is.
    Great post.

    • I’m glad you can appreciate what I’m saying LW. Thank you.

      If Socrates says there’s more to this — I’ll go on ahead and go with that :)

      Oh yeah, Peggy Lee, ‘if that’s all there is my friends, then let’s keep dancing, let’s break out the booze and have a ball.’

  • Sandee, i love the way you write and I love this idea. Wonderful and I know that something will happen despite the gallery closing in three months. You are a kind and creative soul — that comes through in your thoughtful posts, like this one. Bravo!

  • Thank you for choosing me, Sandee! I will of course write a post on Hope, but I’ll need some time to get my thoughts straight, they’ve been zig zagging upside down lately.
    I like your idea of hope. Hope for the world is nice. I don’t think a lot of people that honestly hope for the better of the world though. I especially liked this line “I think maybe the world is just toilet paper, here for us to use up to wipe our asses until it’s all gone”

    • I just love your take on things. No pressure. It took me a few days. As I said, no obligations. I’m glad you like that toilet paper line because I wondered how it would be received. I’ve been wanting to use that for a long time and this was a great chance to do so. Thanks Miss Four Eyes. I hope your little Princess is doing better!

  • Nice job with your hope “assignment.” Hope can be elusive and fleeting, especially as we get older. But when it does sneak up on us, it helps tame the inner beast a bit.

    Good luck with finding a new job.

  • One of the things that I found most appealing about Candidate Obama in 2008 was the title of his then-recently published book: The Audacity of Hope. It seemed to me that someone who understood hope as an audacious undertaking was just what the country needed. I still feel it’s just what the country needs. My hope now is that he remembers hope is an audacious concept and actually acts on that!

    Sandee, you are, indeed, an audacious woman: audacious to write a book; audacious to look at your fears in the eye and acknowledge them; audacious to embrace what you perceive to be your shortcomings…and it is that audacity that is your strength. I hope you embrace that! xoxoM

  • This sentence: “Hope hides in the corners of that place in my brain that directs my feet while my stupid mouth blathers on about how everything needs to be annihilated.” This should be bronzed. It’s that good.

  • I read somewhere of the idea that hope needs to be eliminated from your life, so that you can live mindfully in the present. If you’re constantly clinging to hope, you’re not accepting now for what it is, and you’re missing out on your life. I found this philosophy … intriguing. Having been raised to think of hope as something for which we should strive, something that we need to constantly maintain and that we’re wrong or sick if we lose, I have a lot of trouble embracing the idea of eliminating hope from my life, even if it might ultimately make me happier.

  • This is a great and thought provoking post. As a therapist, all I can say is that I’m in the practice of spoon feeding and shoveling hope all the live long day. When you see people in emotional pain, hope is sometimes the only thing that keeps them going. The hope that the pain will end, life will get easier, life will get better, peace will be found, healing will occur, love can happen, etc., etc..
    I thought Kathy’s comments were very interesting and valid, too. Too much hope or projecting into the future can cause someone to avoid feeling in the present. That’s not good either. As with everything, hope is good as long as it keeps us grounded, productive, balanced and happy.
    Like Weebs, I like the, “Hope hides…” line as well. Really brilliant.

    • I’m so glad you can appreciate what I’ve written. This is a compliment well taken from a therapist, someone who knows all about the intricacy of hope when it comes to human suffering. Thanks for coming by and commenting. I’m going to take to heart what you said about balance because I do have an instinct for that. I only need to be reminded of it here and there. Your comments inspire me to reach out even more.

    • This is so inspiring TS! I’m so glad you decided to do this. You’re right about negativity — I always say I’m dark but it isn’t a bad thing to be so. I’m going now to check out your poem. Thanks again Twinkly!

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